Dear Readers:
This site exists to clear up the many damaging lies Courtney Pawloski has told about Jerry Thibodeau in her two-year attack against his character following their breakup and the calling off of their wedding.  Courtney has said many, many things trying to smear Jerry's name, and this site is hopefully a way to expose all of the lying without 'attacking' Courtney in the process.
First, I'd like to apologize for the creation of this site even being necessary.

I'd like to apologize for any discomfort that this causes to anyone mentioned here, as well as anyone close to the people mentioned here, because I know this is going to be awkward for me, and I'm sure it'll also be awkward for everyone who's name is going to come up while I get this all out.

But I also feel like it must be done. The events that have occurred between myself and Courtney Pawloski (and a few people close to both of us) over the last two years and the things I've had to endure while being quiet about it have been tremendous, and my hope is that laying it all out will bring things to perspective to everyone that was involved.

This is not going to be a smear site. I'm going to go to great lengths to be as fair to everyone involved as I possibly can while authoring this.

My name is Jerry Thibodeau, and I hope this finds everyone as well as it can, given the nature of the types of things I'll be explaining. This has been hard on me, and I suspect that it was also hard on others, though that's never been said by anyone but me.

Everyone involved is a human being, capable of great things and also capable of being monstrous in our most selfish moments. Yes, even me too. I'm not a bad person. I'm not going to say anyone else is a bad person, either. We are people. It's my impression that everyone involved is a good person who has lost perspective about everything that's happened.

This is an attempt at a fair, truthful account of events and explanations about the relationship, engagement, and breakup of Courtney Pawloski and Jerry Thibodeau.

In order to be fair to Courtney, her family, her friends, and the other people that were involved between us, I am going to ensure that requests for error corrections and content removal are respected when appropriate, however I will not appeal to bias. Even my own. I'm going to go to great lengths to make sure that this is not a biased account of events and feelings and that everyone has an opportunity to have their side heard. I'll even designate a portion of the site for others' interpretations of an event if it's requested via email at [ removed ].

As the account of all of this becomes more detailed while I add to it, I'm going to be making frequent edits. Some of this happened quite some time ago, and whenever I notice my memory is inaccurate or emotionally biased, I will correct it.

I'm going to take my time with this, deciding how to structure the site, how to present the facts, my feelings on the facts. I do love Courtney, and I shouldn't-- and I don't want her to feel like this site is "looming over her" or defaming her, or harassing her; That's not what this site is about. My hope is that when she is able to address everything, that it will be easier with the content of this site being available; She currently has some misconceptions about my general demeanor that don't reflect her experience with me, and I think a calm publication of these events could do some good in grounding everything back into perspective. If that makes sense. Courtney's impression is that she has not done anything wrong to me, that her account of events is accurate, and that the lies she told about me were funny. She just doesn't know what she did was wrong and this bothers me deeply.

I started this site on Sunday, April 25th, 2010. After two nights in a row of not being able to sleep, because I have all of the misinterpretations of these events and mistruths about what kind of person I am, and about my part in everything looming over my head, I decided that it was time to at least try to speak about it if I could figure out a way for it to not be damaging to anyone else.

The things that were said about me, some of them, follow me. Sometimes these issues will rear their ugly heads when I'm meeting someone new, or saying hi to what might have been an old friend, and sometimes people who don't know any better will treat me like some kind of a monster because they believe the lies and I haven't been successful in defending myself against them, and this has greatly affected me. No one deserves to be treated as I have, by so many people, and even by strangers in some instances. In other instances, they were people close to us, who believed the things she was saying about me out of anger, and many of them were people that I loved and held dear to me at the time. It was a very painful series of events and interactions, and I should speak up about it.

This might bring perspective to Courtney and the people who were involved in this, or it might piss them off. It might get me sued if I'm not careful-- who knows, but if it does jog something loose, my sincere wish is for Courtney to get help after seeing what's been done to me on her behalf, and after seeing that the things she's done to me herself have been incredibly abusive.

As her ex-fiance, I would like her to be happy, and I have accepted that we will probably never see each other again, or possibly even speak. I have no control over that, and wouldn't want to control it if I could-- as much as I think it would resolve much of this. It wouldn't mean anything if I could.

I'm probably going to use a 'Q & A' style of presenting the facts.

I just want it cleared up. And I'm sorry for anyone that is hurt by that. I've done some stupid but well-intended things (and I've even done some things that were just stupid) over the last 2 years in response to much of what I'll be writing about, and those things will be discussed in proper context finally.

I hope this site is received as I intend for it to be, and I hope that everyone mentioned lives happy, successful lives. That is my most sincere wish.

In Earnest,

Jerry Thibodeau